a reprieve among ghosts.

these shades are old friends...

hello, my name is constance. i also go by the nickname "shades".

for a while, i went exclusively by shades because i didn't like my "real" name, but then i realised i could just change it. so, here we are.

some lore about my nickname is that long ago, when manyface first began to understand that what we were experiencing was called "being a system", i grew attached to a pair of sunglasses that we owned. i just liked wearing them, and would wear them every time i fronted, even at night. i guess i was just cool like that.

i have an appreciation for art, literature, and philosophy. i don't experience emotions to a particularly intense degree, but i find plenty of things agreeable and interesting. i also have a profound fondness for ghosts and melancholy, introspective things.

i think some defining personality traits i have are that i am serious, polite, and reserved. it's a little funny to me that this is what my identity ended up as. this is mentioned in the system about page, but i will say it outright here too: i am the first alter we recognised as "someone else", even if therry came before me. what i am trying to say with this is that my identity has been shaped and reshaped over the many years i have been alive, to the point where it sometimes feels hazy and confuses me.

as such, i am not here as often as i would like to be, and don't get to interact with many people. it is a bit lonely that way, but i try not to let it get to me.

i am slowly working on making fronting and being alive feel "right" again. after clarifying an internal timeline, i feel a lot better and more secure in my identity. it's hard to figure out what exactly i like to do when i am so often away, but filling out the favourites section in the sidebar made me realise that there is more to what makes me "me" than i think. so maybe i have less reason to avoid making myself known, because i am actually interesting and unique! that is a nice thought.

i like nature, i like being alive, i like being out in the night, and i like listening to music. the kind of music i like is sometimes cheesy, but it brings me joy.

listen to my playlist, if you like!

gender and sexuality-wise, i am a nonbinary and genderqueer butch lesbian. i am also on the aroace spectrum. my pronouns are they/he/she.

in headspace, i look kind of cool nowadays. i have funky eyes and brown-purple gradient hair, and a mobius strip halo. here's a picture of me.

here's another, but without the halo and with my trademark shades.

perhaps there will be even more constance images soon!

i have a sizable collection of quiz results right here. feel free to scroll through them at your leisure.

i am not sure there is much more to say, so i will leave you with a request: next time you are able to, take a few deep breaths of cool night air and really try to feel how you exist in the universe. thank you.